Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Our Refrigerator

Despite all our best efforts, like making the bed every day, keeping mildew at bay, or a sock drawer from exploding, some things just get away.

In the case of our refrigerator you would think that its size would prevent anything from getting too out of hand. You would think. I can't recall exactly when the freezer became so engulfed in ice that even a Popsicle lying on its side wouldn't fit in, but I do remember thinking, we should really get around to doing something about this. 

Those thoughts went on for months. 

Since defrosting a freezer is not a common chore, with no one designated to the task, I think Chris and I kept hoping the other person would take care of it. Meanwhile, the situation was getting worse. Not only was there no chance of fitting a pint of ice cream in our igloo of a freezer, it was now becoming difficult to fit anything at all in the rest of the fridge. Lettuce froze instantly, which meant I couldn't buy any greens.  If a juice bottle or glass of wine perched on the door was too rotund, you couldn't close the thing. The only space left was the bottom shelf which was already occupied by jars of jam, Dijon mustard and vitamins too dear and expensive to throw out.

Did we thaw the freezer? Not yet! Instead I began to buy food right before I was ready to cook it and pray we could eat it all in one sitting. You sure you don't want the other half of the chicken honey? 

Our health was suffering, and so were our nerves. Every time the refrigerator door was opened, I imagined all the water droplets in the air being pulled towards our iceberg like a mother ship beaming up it's crew. This ice was looking to take over the world three molecules at a time and whispered, "one part hydrogen, two parts oxygen, one part hydrogen, two parts oxygen....."

It would be interesting to do a study on what people deem to be "too much" because it is a highly relative measurement, but for whatever reason, after months and months of cursing our mammoth ice cube, Chris decided enough was enough. I believe the procedure began with a hairdryer, gently reducing the ice's girth layer by layer, and ended with the refrigerator splayed open in the bathtub receiving blows from a blunt object. I was on puddle patrol and did the best I could.

When every last bit of ice had been thawed, and mopped up, I couldn't believe the vast space left behind. It was like discovering a shallow coat closet was actually a walk-in. I immediately went out and bought groceries, lots of them, and marveled how they all fit neatly on the shelves. 

This all happened over a year ago but recently, I have begun to notice the warning signs. Our ice is once again looking a little plump. I suppose I could do something about it, but maybe Chris will. 

Besides, it's going to be hot as hell today so maybe a little extra ice, would be quite nice.

Chris documented the de-frosting of our freezer with his polaroid camera I think so that when it comes time to thaw it out again, there is no question as to whose turn it is.


  1. Oh that's great! :-) So funny the things that we let go that turn in to monsters in no time flat! :-)

  2. If my freezer in the garage gets much worse it may be worth the plane ticket to California to get Chris to use his superb skills. Yes, the hair dryer definitely helps, but only after turning everything off overnight. Love your column and recipes. diane nanis

  3. Thanks Diane! We would love to come out to CA for a visit! And I'll be sure to bring my hair dryer.

  4. Oh my gosh...this was so funny, I almost lost a kidney laughing!

    You're a great writer.

    1. Thank you Adrianne! I just saw your comment. I took a break from the blog but now I'm back!